Every person may go through a process of loss in their life, whether it's a friend, partner, or family member. Sadness is inevitable, but it would be very helpful if we knew about the grieving process. The theory of the 5 stages of grief was developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist. Here is a more detailed explanation.
1. Denial
Denial is the first stage of the grieving process. It is difficult to believe that someone we love has gone, especially when we have just communicated with them. Denial usually helps a person minimize the overwhelming pain and is a way to cope with the emotional pain of loss.
In this first stage, the world seems to change, and one must adjust to the new reality. Generally, one will reflect and reminisce about the beautiful moments spent with the person, and may wonder how to continue living without them.
The feeling of denial is not an attempt to pretend, but it is the way for individuals to try to absorb, understand, and process what is happening. This process is a common form of defense that progresses slowly, step by step. However, when passing this phase, the emotions that have been suppressed begin to rise.
Denial is the first stage of the grieving process
2. Anger
The emergence of anger is the second stage of the grieving process. Adjusting to the new reality is not easy, and there is a high likelihood for a person to experience extreme emotional discomfort. There is so much to process, so anger is one's way of expressing emotions and pain.
The anger may be directed towards the deceased person, partner, or other relatives, or even inanimate objects. In reality, the brain knows that the object cannot be blamed, but the feelings are too strong to act rationally. This process sometimes makes a person more difficult to approach.
3. Bargaining
Feelings of desperation are likely to arise when faced with the loss process, so one is willing to do anything to alleviate the pain. One bargains with a higher power, or the Creator, with the intention that it can influence the outcome of an event. For example, promising to behave better if they let this person live.
During this stage of the grieving process, one often focuses on mistakes or regrets. Many words that they wished were left unspoken and hope to change their behavior. Sometimes, there is an assumption that if everything had gone differently, they would not be in this emotionally painful situation now.
Many requests to the Creator in the hope that something might change
4. Depression
There comes a time when bargaining no longer matters because a person cannot be brought back to life, so the imagination returns to the current reality. In this fourth stage, one begins to feel the loss of a loved one more calmly. Although the anger has subsided and the emotions begin to disappear, the feeling of loss becomes deeper and inevitable.
During this process, one tends to withdraw as sadness increases, such as avoiding socializing and interacting with others to fully cope with the loss. Facing the depression phase is a very natural stage in the grieving process, but it will feel very difficult and burdensome.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance is the final stage of the grieving process. When one reaches this stage, it does not mean that they are free from pain and become happy, but they no longer reject the existing reality. The processes of anger, bargaining, and regret no longer occur during this final phase. One will experience significant changes in their life, and it will change their feelings towards many things.
Those are the 5 stages of the grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. There is no specific timeline for each stage, and it will vary for each individual. It is also important to note that not everyone may go through them one by one or sequentially.
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