Lowering oneself (self-deprecation) is a form of self-talk that diminishes the quality and abilities. This behavior reflects cognitive conditions, such as low self-esteem, belittling oneself, achievements, or abilities, to negatively assess oneself. What are the signs that you consciously or unconsciously engage in self-deprecation? Here are 3 examples:
- Unable to accept praise, so tend to refute various forms of compliments from others
- Underestimating oneself spontaneously because it has become a habit
- Unwillingness to self-promote because thinking it will appear unpleasant or because it is nothing to others
Reasons We Do It
Of course, we don't want to leave a arrogant impression on others. As a result, the tendency to criticize or insult oneself is a way to appear humble. Not only to seem more pleasing, but also to avoid ego assumptions that harm oneself. How are the examples?
- Negative self-talk: directing negative thoughts or comments towards oneself
- Humor tool: involving light mockery towards oneself (belittling misfortune to help oneself accept difficult situations or to gain inspiring acceptance of unfavorable circumstances), usually done by a comedian
- Increasing others' liking towards us: showing politeness or status equalization when there is actually a difference in status or as a form of solidarity, usually done by a leader
- Self-protection: reducing discomfort around others to avoid social disapproval, usually done by shy people
Self-deprecation sometimes aims to lighten the mood, humor, or as a form of protection
Impact of Self-Criticism
Allowing the habit of belittling oneself or becoming the subject of jokes may seem successful in inviting laughter and building a humble image. However, if you constantly belittle yourself, choose others over yourself, or remain silent about your achievements, there will be consequences, both for yourself and others. What are they?
- Affects self-esteem as this habit becomes more deeply ingrained
- Affects mental health (anxiety, stress, and depression)
- Starting to feel less optimistic
How to Improve It
Again, criticizing or belittling oneself may be beneficial to lighten awkward, uncomfortable, or even tense situations. However, habits like this have the potential to bring more negative consequences than positive ones, especially related to mental well-being. Therefore, try to improve it by:
- Accepting every praise given: say thank you when others give compliments, especially when you feel it's deserved
- Journaling: write down approximately what forms of interaction lead you to self-deprecate
- Becoming more positive: build a habit of communicating with yourself in a positive and constructive manner
Accept every praise with a thank you, don't deny if you're truly proud of it
Lowering or criticizing oneself may indeed succeed in lightening the mood or it may be a way for you to appear humble. However, this habit doesn't always bring positive effects, even more negatives. Accept every praise with a thank you and increase positive self-talk with yourself. You should be proud of your achievements!
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